We all have experienced those relationships that leave us wounded, heartsick and cause us to lose our faith in this little thing called Love. There are so many reasons we choose the people we do to share our lives and have these love experiences. Many times, though, we make decision and choices that end up causing pain and destruction instead of enhancing and expanding our lives.
So, why do we make choices that create more difficulty and challenge in our world? Why would we ever choose someone who potentially causes emotional pain or worse?
I don’t believe any of us begin a courtship with a man if we knew they would become trouble for us. No one advertises his negative relationship and behavior patterns ahead of time. Boy, that would make our choosing a little easier. I, too , made choices that created more turmoil in my life, and therefore, situations for me to get out of.
Often times, the choices we make in our love life are directly related to childhood experiences that create certain patterns within our lives. Unless and until we recognize the choices we are making, and why, we can continue to make the same choices over and over again. We must look at our lives introspectively so we can move toward unraveling this unhealthy way of being can take place. For me, I had the pattern of betrayal that ran through the course of my life, since early childhood. I became a victim so many times, based on the choices I was making (so, really I was in charge and not a victim at all!). I was unconsciously picking men that would betray me in some significant way. I was constantly picking myself up by my “bootstraps” and starting over. It wasn’t until I went through the dark night of my soul and became enlightened, finally, was I able to direct the course of my life, including my love life.
I want to give you some helpful information to take charge of your love life and create the experiences of your choosing:
- You are not a victim. This was so difficult for me to understand and if you are having a hard time allowing this to settle in your heart, I get it. It took me years to finally understand I was only a victim to my own choices. I was the one who attracted these people into my experience. It was me that chose to stay. It was me that gave away my power. It was me who allowed so much wrongdoing in her life. It was me who took too long to find her power. I realized all of this when I realized I was the common denominator in all of my broken and failed relationships. I had always felt like I was “wronged”, and therefore, a victim of circumstances from my relationships. When I finally realized through the healing work I studied and applied to my life, boy did everything change for me. I realized how powerful I really am! I realized I could choose differently in my life and have better experiences. When I realized I held the power to control my life, is when everything changed.
- Stop the madness. You must stop the cycles of pain in your love life sooner or later! You must know yourself in a deeper, more intimate way, so you can understand why you are making the choices you are making. If you are finding yourself repeating your life choices that are unhealthy in any way, then you must take stock of this. You must do the inner healing work of what is causing you to create this in your life. It was amazing, once I realized the pattern I was making over and over again in my life. Once I started shining a light on it, it was so clear to me, I began making better choices, particularly in my love life. I stopped that pattern in my love life, and you can too!
- Heal you heart and mind. Once you have uncovered your hidden patterns and belief systems (you might need assistance working through these!), you can begin the healing process. It is not easy work to establish new ways of thinking and being, but it can be done. You must do the inner work of addressing those patterns in your relationships that have been with you for a very long time. Then, you can begin to create change. This is the most difficult part of the process, as creating a new thought pattern, belief system and recovering your heart, can be daunting. I, personally, went through this as well. I had the help of many teachers and spiritual leaders on my side, along with a personal mentor. My mentor and I took our time to thoroughly work through the patterns in my life. I was so empowered once I understood how to create this change. I realize now that I have had this power all along – and, so do you!
- The ideal mate. After the intense healing work I went through to truly change my life, is when I was able to “put in my order”, to God, the Universe and all of the Heavenly Helpers to bring this man into my life experience, into my reality. I did just that. I was able to dream him up, so to speak! What’s amazing is that this man (my now fiancé), possesses all of the qualities of what I was looking for in a partner. I began by writing down my prayers quite frequently. In these prayer sessions, I spent significant time in the area of finding true soul-mate love. I was more than tired of being hurt by relationships and had spent enough time living single while raising my two children. It was time for me to share the life with that special someone. I was ready. I practiced many manifestation tools as well, which I will describe on a future post! It took me a long time to know what I wanted in a love relationship with a man. I had learned a ton about what I did not want, which is good, too! Sometimes we have to know what we don’t want in order to know what we do want! By middle age, I pretty much knew exactly what I wanted to experience with this partner in my life.
- Stop looking. By using the art and science of manifestation, faith and belief, you can stop the constant looking to find that special someone. See, once you employ these Universal Laws to your life, specifically in the area of romantic love, rest assured that he will find you! Actually, you will be drawn together like magnets. It doesn’t matter where you live, what you do for a living, the Universe will conspire to move mountains to bring you to him. You can expect this to happen and relax about your love prospects. When I was shown this through my prayer life and spiritual practice, and employed manifestation tools, I relaxed about finding “the one”. We were brought together in a beautiful way, and I knew in my soul that would happen. I could let go and let God, so to speak.
True love does exist. A wonderful relationship awaits you. Follow these steps to begin changing the destiny of your own love life. If you need help in this regard, please contact me! Allow me to assist you on your love journey!