In the previous article, I explain to you how you are hard-wired in your brain to live out certain experiences based upon original programming. Most live by this default programming for a while in their lives, unless and until they go about the business of healing and self-awareness.
This step is crucial in changing, transforming and ultimately, having the love life you really desire! We cannot change what we do not know, acknowledge and understand. So, do the work, heal from your past relationship patterns so you, too, can have your ideal mate come into your life.
3. You Must Heal From Your Past Relationships
Once you become consciously aware of your default programming in the area of your past relationships, you can begin the healing process. The first step is to realize that the individuals you attracted to your life are also operating from their own default programming. When two become in relation with one another, they are perfect counterparts for where they are on the scale of their emotional and mental healing of their life.
Our subconscious mind works so well for us, it is always keeping a close eye on everything we experience in our life. This part of our mind does not judge, as I’ve said before, it only operates trying to keep you safe. Familiarity is safety, thus keeping the patterns alive in your life. There is a reason why you are experiencing the same feelings over and over again. It is because you have a belief system, that has become hard-wired in your brain.
Now, the cool part about knowing this is that you have the ability to change the trajectory of your love life and dating experiences. You can understand the role you have played throughout your life and the role of the relationships that have shown up. Until you heal these old relationship patterns, more of the same will be attracted to you, and you to them.
To heal relationship patterns, you must free yourself from any negative emotion that ties you to that person. An emotional tie can be difficult to break, whether it is one of longing for that person, or resentment and bitterness for that relationship. When you can be the third party observer over these past relationship stories, you can see that you both played out a perfect combination of roles that kept both your stories alive and well.
In my case, I was playing the role of victim. I had been a victim as a child, so it became a strong belief system in my mind. I was not consciously aware of this pattern for decades. When I did this work and looked back, I could plainly see that I was magnetizing partners to me that fueled those belief systems, thus, re-living the all-too-familiar pattern that was in my love life. Once I had this knowledge I’m sharing with you, I could easily see that those partners were the perfect counterpart to my belief systems.
I found freedom from blame, bitterness, anger and unforgiveness for all of those that had shown up on my path, for I realized they were the perfect match for where I was in my healing journey.
Once the blame is dissolved, and understanding has taken its place, true forgiveness and freedom can be yours. Once you are free, you really do not have the emotional ties to your past. When you can observe your family of origin and where these original beliefs began, you can also find freedom for that particular blame. For, now you know, every single person, living on this Earth that has a brain, is living out their own personal belief systems, patterns, habits. Whether they are good, bad or ugly. They don’t know what they don’t know, but, now you do!
Scientists now reveal that our lives are controlled by our subconscious mind about 80% of the time. That means, in order to have successful relationships, we must go deep into our subconscious mind to heal, retrain and reprogram. We will begin that part of the journey next time when I write: Step 4 of Magnetizing Your Ideal Mate: Knowing Who You Really Are